A Warning and a Hope

Last Monday our fifteen year old asked me at dinner if we could go to Wal-Mart and buy him a Scooby Doo costume for him to wear to "character day" at the high school the next day. (I know. Scooby Doo? But it was homecoming week, and Scooby Doo is his favorite character because in real life, Scooby Doo has Lebanese roots in the form of Kasey Kasem.) "I asked you about it on Saturday." To be fair, he had. But it was a casual mention. I thought it was a fleeting thought.

I thought wrong.

Long time readers know that I am NOT a coddling mother. I believe in consequences, in discipline, in responsibility. And I am very frugal. So I was not running to Wal-Mart to buy this last minute child a $50 Scooby Doo costume.

But I was assailed with a feeling of guilt. I declare I wanted to cry. This child, who grew NINE inches in two years and is now much taller than I am, was really disappointed. He deserved it, but I just felt awful about it. Thankfully, a neighbor was eating dinner with us, and volunteered that she had an Austin Powers costume that he could wear. The two of them supplemented the frilly bloused suit and turned it into Blackbeard the pirate.

Fast forward to yesterday. Our oldest son, who is an Resident Advisor in college, wrote something on his Facebook status that could really, really, seriously have been misconstrued. My heart sank. I let it ride for several hours, but after reading the lively Facebook debate, I put on my mommy hat and called him, advising him to change the comment. Thankfully, he did. (And then one of his brothers begged him to change it back, but that's another story...)

And tonight, yet another son let me know that they still have the air conditioning on in his dorm, and he is freezing at night. I asked him if he needed a blanket, and he said he bought a warm sleeping bag on clearance for $8. But it makes me want to drive to where he is and feed him soup. My baby is cold.

Let's face it. I'm still their mom.

I'm warning you moms - and maybe dads, although my husband shared none of my guilt or worry in the above matters. Your kids may grow up. They may go away. You may not have missing homework or misunderstood Algebra. You may not find the mail in the laundry or the ketchup in the medicine cabinet. But I warn you. You'll spend a good portion of that extra time praying about those missing children, asking Jesus to watch them and guide since they are out of your reach.

And the hope? Read between the lines above. Scooby Doo the Pirate, who has always been a perfectionist was displaying flexibility. The second son...note that he is is in college, is an RA, and that he took my advice! And that cold boy is the cold one in his boxer shorts I was referring to in yesterday's blog post. He is now gainfully employed, is being schooled in a very difficult trade, shops frugally, pays his bills and has a ROTH! He strategically uses a debit card instead of a checkbook, and is obviously remembering to "Problem Solve". I confess, however, that he remains a bit...spacey.

So the hope is this. They will learn - from what you teach them, from their teachers, from life, and from your prayers. Yes, it is a struggle. They may never be organized, and they may always be a bit...spacey. But in the end, these wonderful gifts in your life will become what God has gifted them to be.

Here's our pirate.