What They Need To Know

Our school recently sent home an email asking parents to list the skills that were important for a child to know before graduating from high school - and not just academic things. Among other things, I listed: balancing a checkbook, changing a diaper, basic car/home maintenance, filling out a tax return. I started early teaching my boys life skills. At age three, they could make a sandwich. At five, they could use the stove - with supervision. When they were in 5th grade, they were introduced to the iron without supervision. My husband has taught our boys how to change the oil and jumpstart a car. He's helped them to replace a plug and install a smoke detector. And yesterday, I kid you not, he spent about 15 minutes talking one of our boys through how to change a lightbulb...Actually, it was a turning signal bulb that was stuck. It broke while our boy was trying to unscrew it, and then it broke.

What do you think? Beyond Algebra and the Electoral College, what life skills are you teaching your children? I'll be posting reader responses on Monday.


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Getting An ADHD Child Started

In your quest toward homework independence, your child might just need a jump start. When she begins a subject, do the first problem or two with her, or help write that first sentence, or have her read the first paragraph aloud. It's like riding a bike - sometimes you just need a push-off. Just a little hint to get you started.

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Those Stress Balls for ADHD are...Balls

Another mom wrote: "My son has inattentive ADHD. His teacher at school has had success with the ADHD kids in her room handling stress balls that they can manipulate while doing their work or thinking. Unfortunately the stress balls are just that...balls that lend themselves well to being thrown. Do you have any tips or advice on what works well or better than stress balls and where to find such items?"

My first thought was to get a stress ball attached to a keychain so you could tether it to the desk, or at least a non-rolling squishy. I then remembered a teacher telling how she attached Velcro to the underside of the desk, so the kids could feel it while trying to pay attention. I also found a couple of other products that might fit the bill, the molecule balls and the spiky gloves to the right. I'll bet there's a product idea here for some enterprising young ADHD'er: affordable stress balls or tactile stimulators that stick to the desk. If any of you have ideas and experience, please let me know so I can pass it along to other parents.


This mom's question arose from the article in the last newsletter about the ball chairs and wiggle cushions. Although readers have had success with the cushions, noone responded about the ball chairs - except one mom named Ann, who wanted one for her office!

The links to those items are here again, in case you want to give it a go for your child at school - or at home. The cushions are great for homework, but also for the dinner table. And if you're like Ann, and the ball chair appeals to you, maybe you could ask for one in your stocking!



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I Get By With a Little Help from My Mom

A reader writes, "It is so good to know I am not the only mom of an ADD child who sometimes get exasperated with their lack of following process (with predictable chaotic results)!

But there are those rewarding moments. This morning, I took time off work to go with my son to the high school counselor's office to ensure that he was signed up for the mandatory classes he needed for next trimester. He argued with me all the way to school, that I was treating him like a 5 year old, that he was completely on top of this, that he had already coordinated. I calmly replied - good, if that's true, this appoinment should only take 5 minutes. Of course, when we got there, I discovered that my son's schedule was completely messed up...The counselor worked with us for a good thirty minutes, changing around three classes to accommodate my son's late-entry into a required US History class.

As we left the counselor's office, my son grinned sheepishly at me and said, "Thanks, Mom. I guess I did need a little help from you."

Sometimes It's Not My Problem

Yesterday, one of our sons was late to work. He neglected to follow the advice - no, the law - I have given him and his brothers from the time they were in Kindergarten. "Get your stuff out the night before." My son waited until one hour before he was supposed to start waiting tables to look for his work shirt. When he found it, it was in the bottom of the laundry with ink stains, and had to be washed, dried and ironed. He was highly frustrated, but had the grace to tell me, "It's not your problem."

He's darn tootin' it wasn't my problem. I have told them until I'm blue in the face. Get out your socks, your shoes, your shin guards, your index cards, your lunch money, your underwear and for Heaven's sake your Pomodoros Italian Restaurant work shirt the night before! If you do, we'll all work together to find whatever is missing, dirty, or yet unpurchased. If you wait until the morning - well, "It's not my problem." My boys have gone to school without coats, missing projects, wearing dirty socks and/or borrowed underwear, simply because they didn't plan the night before. I'm not trying to be unmerciful.* I'm just trying to get my boys prepared for life. So that maybe, just maybe, when they grow up, they wont' be late to work because their uniform is dirty. Or, maybe not.


But at least I can say, "It's not my problem." And then wallow in mounds of guilt, while still knowing I'm teaching a life lesson by not being a helicopter parent...


*Disclaimer: Actually, being unmerciful doesn't require effort on my part, I'm sorry to say. My boys have accused me of having the gift of no mercy. So I am happy to report that I did participate in the discovery and cleaning of the errant shirt. Or my son would have been a whole lot later than he already was. I get a nice mommy award.


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Paying Attention is a Balancing Act

In their quest to pay attention, ADHD kids are often fidgety. They have all those annoying habits, like tapping their pencil, chewing on their pigtails, shaking their leg, picking at scabs, or doodling. One of our boys' teachers combatted his fidgets by simply letting him stand up. Other teachers have found the benefit of letting kids sit on a cushion, or even on one of those ball chairs. I read an article this morning in the Star Tribune about a middle school classroom that is completely outfitted with these bouncy chairs. I know that they are useful for schools (and offices), but have any of you ever tried them in the home setting?



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AD/HD Fun, Fun, Fun

Older children who have come to terms with their ADHD often wear it like a badge. Or a t-shirt. Check out the talent on this wonderful YouTube video - and notice the t-shirt! (You can buy that shirt on Amazon.com.) This ADHD kid is embracing life, including his ADHD...

And take a look at this Facebook status from our son Ron...and the ensuing comments:
"Ron wonders why God gave him add. 3:21pm - 8 Comments"

CR at 4:14pm November 18: so that you and i could be friends! thats why!

Ron at 4:17pm November 18: lol that's reasonable hahaha ;)

KL at 4:31pm November 18: because life would be boring without

Ash (the little brother) at 4:34pm November 18: so you wouldnt be better than me at everything!

Ron at 4:36pm November 18: too late for that. i already am bahaha

Ash at 4:49pm November 18: i was better than you... once

CB at 7:28pm November 18: you could just as easily been given minus, don't fret too much

SS at 8:43pm November 18: to play ping pong with me. duh.

And although I enjoyed this lively exchange, I so wish these kids would use punctuation and capital letters...What was that thing I wrote in that earlier post about going back to the basics...




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