The day after I wrote the previous post, Mike was in a sermon competition. (Am I the only one who thinks that a sermon competition sounds rather odd?!) To put it kindly, he bombed. He hadn't practiced enough, he forgot what he was supposed to say, he was ill at ease. He knew he hadn't done well, yet people kept complimenting him on the good job he did. Their insincerity made him wonder about the compliments he had been given in the past. Were they true or not?
My heart hurt for him. I knew I better have some really wise words to say, especially after reading the aforementioned article...
So over the next several hours while he was smarting from embarrassment and regret, I told him: "I'm proud of you for being brave enough to get up in front of an audience. It was a real learning experience for you. You'll do better next time, because you'll practice more. I know you were embarrassed. This is part of life. It won't be the last time you don't do well."
To continue on ideas from the article above, we often give our child success so much that they don't know how to lose or to fail. It's important for a child to learn to be a gracious loser, to fail with grace, and NOT to be depressed - at least for too long. When your child doesn't do well at something, try to milk it for a good lesson. Mike and I came up with a line for him to use when people complimented him or asked him how he did: "I'll do better next year." We talked about how to change his notes so he wouldn't totally lose his place. We discussed the importance of practice, and of the danger of resting on one's laurels.
The good news is that Mike bounced back quickly, with no apparent long term scarring. And he'll do better next year!
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