We have another great hint on getting kids to do chores from Molly Donnelly, who graciously gave me permission to include her name and her method!
For my kids I have printed out and laminated cleaning cards for each chore. If they have to do the bathroom, they take the card and it lists for them step-by-step instructions so nothing gets forgotten-spray the sinks, toilet and shower with cleaner, wipe down shower and rinse, clean the inside of the bowl and wipe down the outside and floor around it, wipe down the sink and counter, use a clean cloth to dry the sink and counter, wipe down the mirror, use another clean cloth to dry it, mop the floor last. They can check off the instructions with dry erase markers as they go. I have included cards for their bedrooms, vacuuming and mopping floors and dusting rooms. (Don't forget the moldings and picture frames!) It works for us!
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Visit our website at http://www.goaskmom.com.
Showing posts with label responsibility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label responsibility. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Reader Hint - Getting Kids to Do Chores
A reader sent this in last newsletter. It makes me want to go do chores with her!
I wanted to throw something out there for working moms who feel like they're always picking up "everyday clutter" constantly, and have a hard time staying organized and caught up.
I have two children, ages 8 and 14, with ADD (one inattentive, one hyperactive). I have found that when I say, "clean your room, and help pick up the house", I don't always get a good response, at least not to my satisfaction. Being a working mom, I have had to let go of having the show-room look, but I do like to keep things picked up. So, about once a week, after dinner, I say, "alright, everyone … it's time to play WHAT'S NEXT?!" At first I get groans, and sighs, but they get into the "game" pretty quickly. Here's what we do. We start at one end of the house, and I literally hand out commands, left and right, such as "Go empty this trash can, and bring back a new trash bag with it", "Grab the broom for me", "go put the Rainbow vacuum together for me, including water in the bowl", "take this laundry to the laundry room", "go put this hairbrush in the bathroom drawer (not sure why it's in the middle of the living room)", "pick up all the little air-soft gun BB's in this room", etc.
While they're "gone", I wipe down cabinets and mirrors, vacuum that room, dust, etc. , always looking for what they can do as soon as they get back, sometimes looking into the next room, so that no time is wasted. The goal is for them to run do the task, and come back and say, "WHAT NEXT!?" Of course, it turns into a contest for who can run do their task, and make it back before the other one.
It turns into a lot of fun, and the whole house gets clean, except for the mopping and laundry, which I'm glad to do, since my whole house just got a good basic cleaning in less than an hour or so. Oh yes, and each time, I add "wipe down the base boards", "dust the blinds", and/or "dust the ceiling fans" (well, I do this last one) on just one room in the house, so that all of these things get a once-over every few weeks. They also get the benefit of having help with the basics of their own room (especially the 8-year-old), since we're all working together, helping each other. For anyone with more than one child, anyway, this is a great way to get a lot done, very quickly, without having to spend a whole weekend cleaning.
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Visit our website at http://www.goaskmom.com.
I wanted to throw something out there for working moms who feel like they're always picking up "everyday clutter" constantly, and have a hard time staying organized and caught up.
I have two children, ages 8 and 14, with ADD (one inattentive, one hyperactive). I have found that when I say, "clean your room, and help pick up the house", I don't always get a good response, at least not to my satisfaction. Being a working mom, I have had to let go of having the show-room look, but I do like to keep things picked up. So, about once a week, after dinner, I say, "alright, everyone … it's time to play WHAT'S NEXT?!" At first I get groans, and sighs, but they get into the "game" pretty quickly. Here's what we do. We start at one end of the house, and I literally hand out commands, left and right, such as "Go empty this trash can, and bring back a new trash bag with it", "Grab the broom for me", "go put the Rainbow vacuum together for me, including water in the bowl", "take this laundry to the laundry room", "go put this hairbrush in the bathroom drawer (not sure why it's in the middle of the living room)", "pick up all the little air-soft gun BB's in this room", etc.
While they're "gone", I wipe down cabinets and mirrors, vacuum that room, dust, etc. , always looking for what they can do as soon as they get back, sometimes looking into the next room, so that no time is wasted. The goal is for them to run do the task, and come back and say, "WHAT NEXT!?" Of course, it turns into a contest for who can run do their task, and make it back before the other one.
It turns into a lot of fun, and the whole house gets clean, except for the mopping and laundry, which I'm glad to do, since my whole house just got a good basic cleaning in less than an hour or so. Oh yes, and each time, I add "wipe down the base boards", "dust the blinds", and/or "dust the ceiling fans" (well, I do this last one) on just one room in the house, so that all of these things get a once-over every few weeks. They also get the benefit of having help with the basics of their own room (especially the 8-year-old), since we're all working together, helping each other. For anyone with more than one child, anyway, this is a great way to get a lot done, very quickly, without having to spend a whole weekend cleaning.
------------------------------------------------------------
Visit our website at http://www.goaskmom.com.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Chore List - Guidelines for Assigning Chores to Kids
In a recent post, I listed five reasons that is important for us to make sure our kids do chores. You can read the list on the ADHD-Inattentive blog. But just how do we assign chores that our kids can - and will - do? Here's your chore list:
It's important to match the chore to the child. When you assign chores, take your child’s age, ability and personality into account. From the moment they are out of the high chair, a child can ‘dump their plate’ and put it in the sink. I have sweet memories of our little ones reaching over their heads to lob their dishes (plastic, of course) into the water. A two year old can sort and put away silverware, feed the dog (dry food) and put produce into the appropriate drawers in the refrigerator. They can also put toys where they belong - if you have assigned spots for each. A five year old can fold towels, set the table, water the dog, sweep the floor, dust, and make a bed. Most ten year olds can iron their own clothes, cook a simple meal, take the recycling bin to the street, and mop. By the time kids are twelve, there isn’t a whole lot they can’t do around the house - except drive the car!
Despite the above guidelines, some kids aren’t ready to do some chores. If you give a child a chore and they are genuinely overwhelmed with the skill involved, then assign something else. Our last son Ash, for example, has always been a whiz at cleaning out the cabinet that holds all the plastic containers and their lids. Our second son, however, was truly clueless on any of the organizational principles involved. Don’t be fooled, however. Kids can be real masters at feigning inability and ignorance.
Try not to give your child too many chores that they absolutely hate. I, for example, hate to mop. (I've mentioned this before...) Were I a child, I would not assign myself mopping as a daily chore. If your child likes to be outside, give her more outdoor jobs. And if your son likes to be in the kitchen, give him responsibilities there.
Give specific instructions. Your child - especially if they are ADHD - needs for you to explain exactly what you expect for them to accomplish. Don’t just say, “Clear off the table.” Give step by step instructions, and you may want to write them down and post them:
1. Fill up the sink with water, and put all the silverware in the bottom.
2. Put lids back on all the containers like milk and ketchup and put them away. (NOT in the medicine cabinet, please.)
3. Use napkins and wipe the extra food on the plates into the trash or compost, then put the plates into the sink.
4. Put away everything else. The salt and pepper shakers and the napkin holder stay on the table. You don't put them away.
5. Use a wet rag and wipe off the table. Pick up the salt and pepper shakers and napkin holder and wipe under them.
6. Push the chairs under the table.
Keep reminding for momentum. For long chores (you know, the ones more than 2 minutes!), your child might lose focus. Reminders are often necessary. You can give verbal reminders (sometimes known as nagging), flash lights, or set off a timer to ding at regular intervals. Our boys used to fight over the Triple Tell Timer. (We have a whole page of recommended timers and reminders here.) Another option is to put on a song, and tell your child the end of the song is her cue to get back on track. We’ve also tried giving rewards for finishing a chore within a certain amount of time.
Do a quality check. This is the downfall of many a chore. Don’t expect perfection, but do expect your child to have done their very best. And if they haven’t, make them do it over (and maybe over again - and again). They will be very offended as you point out their mistakes. Don’t cave.
Recognize a job well done. Whether you offer verbal praise, a financial reward, or an hour of television or gaming - thank your child for their help, and affirm their efforts.
-----------------------------------
Visit our website here.
It's important to match the chore to the child. When you assign chores, take your child’s age, ability and personality into account. From the moment they are out of the high chair, a child can ‘dump their plate’ and put it in the sink. I have sweet memories of our little ones reaching over their heads to lob their dishes (plastic, of course) into the water. A two year old can sort and put away silverware, feed the dog (dry food) and put produce into the appropriate drawers in the refrigerator. They can also put toys where they belong - if you have assigned spots for each. A five year old can fold towels, set the table, water the dog, sweep the floor, dust, and make a bed. Most ten year olds can iron their own clothes, cook a simple meal, take the recycling bin to the street, and mop. By the time kids are twelve, there isn’t a whole lot they can’t do around the house - except drive the car!
Despite the above guidelines, some kids aren’t ready to do some chores. If you give a child a chore and they are genuinely overwhelmed with the skill involved, then assign something else. Our last son Ash, for example, has always been a whiz at cleaning out the cabinet that holds all the plastic containers and their lids. Our second son, however, was truly clueless on any of the organizational principles involved. Don’t be fooled, however. Kids can be real masters at feigning inability and ignorance.
Try not to give your child too many chores that they absolutely hate. I, for example, hate to mop. (I've mentioned this before...) Were I a child, I would not assign myself mopping as a daily chore. If your child likes to be outside, give her more outdoor jobs. And if your son likes to be in the kitchen, give him responsibilities there.
Give specific instructions. Your child - especially if they are ADHD - needs for you to explain exactly what you expect for them to accomplish. Don’t just say, “Clear off the table.” Give step by step instructions, and you may want to write them down and post them:
1. Fill up the sink with water, and put all the silverware in the bottom.
2. Put lids back on all the containers like milk and ketchup and put them away. (NOT in the medicine cabinet, please.)
3. Use napkins and wipe the extra food on the plates into the trash or compost, then put the plates into the sink.
4. Put away everything else. The salt and pepper shakers and the napkin holder stay on the table. You don't put them away.
5. Use a wet rag and wipe off the table. Pick up the salt and pepper shakers and napkin holder and wipe under them.
6. Push the chairs under the table.
Keep reminding for momentum. For long chores (you know, the ones more than 2 minutes!), your child might lose focus. Reminders are often necessary. You can give verbal reminders (sometimes known as nagging), flash lights, or set off a timer to ding at regular intervals. Our boys used to fight over the Triple Tell Timer. (We have a whole page of recommended timers and reminders here.) Another option is to put on a song, and tell your child the end of the song is her cue to get back on track. We’ve also tried giving rewards for finishing a chore within a certain amount of time.
Do a quality check. This is the downfall of many a chore. Don’t expect perfection, but do expect your child to have done their very best. And if they haven’t, make them do it over (and maybe over again - and again). They will be very offended as you point out their mistakes. Don’t cave.
Recognize a job well done. Whether you offer verbal praise, a financial reward, or an hour of television or gaming - thank your child for their help, and affirm their efforts.
-----------------------------------
Visit our website here.
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