Parents of forgetful and irresponsible middle schoolers - take note of the following…
Our oldest son Ron is a junior in college, but (counting one summer session) this marks his ninth college semester. We have a policy in our house that we pay half of college tuition, room and board. The boys come up with the other half - but they have to pay for all of their books. When we instituted this policy, we reasoned that it would encourage the boys to look for bargains and sell their used books.
Well, we were half right. The boys are genetically predisposed to find (or wrangle) the very best price for just about anything. Their ADHD, however, predisposes them to never get around to selling books, and to waiting until the last minute to buy their new ones.
This is 6th week of winter semester for Ron, and after ordering it last week, his last book arrived on Wednesday. The book was supposed to cost $200, and frugal Ron - even if he had the money - was not going to fork out that much. So - after checking with the professor - he ordered a previous edition. When it arrived, however, he had ordered the wrong thing. You had to feel sorry for him. He immediately emailed the vendor who was very helpful. He explained the urgency of the situation. Although it wouldn't have been so urgent had he purchased in December when he registered for class…
Anyhow, the funny moment came when I was telling the above story to my husband. "Maybe," he said, "maybe he'll do better next time."
My husband has more faith than I do! I mean, this is the ninth go round at this. But for those of you with middle schoolers - note the following. Ron knew what book to buy. That means he had to go to his list of classes and find the ISBN number of the book. He had to copy the number down correctly. And find it online. Then he had to think about how to avoid paying so much, talk to the professor about it, go back online and buy again. And he had to contact the vendor to explain the problem. This was the child that couldn't remember to bring the directions for a project home from school just eight short years ago, much less do the project alone.
So take heart. Keep plugging away, and they will grow up...But I offer no guarantee that they'll ever grow out of procrastinating!
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Visit our website at http://www.goaskmom.com.
Showing posts with label maturity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label maturity. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
ADHD-I Turns 18
The most inattentive of our inattentive boys once said that his attention was like an oscillating fan. Bright, artistic, forgetful, self-absorbed, creative, exasperating, determined, spacey...he could be the poster child for ADHD-I. His first year of school, he went to kindergarten without his backpack for days on end - and suffered the consequences. One day, we pulled out of the driveway before he realized he wasn't wearing a shirt.
When he turned 18, however, he had matured so very much that it was almost sad. He began to carry on articulate conversations with us, his friends, and (the real shocker) other adults. He discussed his future. He began volunteering at church, playing basketball, and fixing things around the house. He got his first steady job, working at a local dry cleaners. It was a great work situation - the owners like hiring students and helping them succeed at their first job. But the best part is that our son displayed terrific employee skills. He was always there, on time, and was spoken highly of by the customers.
The pay was decent, too. In fact, our son saved enough to buy his first car - with cash. He actually bought said car before he got his license. You'll have to guess why...but let's just say the people at the DMV knew us quite well.
But turning 18 didn't solve everything. On the first day of his Senior year of school, he drove to school for the very first time. He left one hour before school started, to beat the traffic. It was a very mature thing to do, trust me.
About five minutes after he left, he returned home.
What was wrong?
"I forgot my backpack."
Some things never change.
Although I suppose we should give him credit for wearing a shirt.
Visit our website at
http://www.goaskmom.com.
When he turned 18, however, he had matured so very much that it was almost sad. He began to carry on articulate conversations with us, his friends, and (the real shocker) other adults. He discussed his future. He began volunteering at church, playing basketball, and fixing things around the house. He got his first steady job, working at a local dry cleaners. It was a great work situation - the owners like hiring students and helping them succeed at their first job. But the best part is that our son displayed terrific employee skills. He was always there, on time, and was spoken highly of by the customers.
The pay was decent, too. In fact, our son saved enough to buy his first car - with cash. He actually bought said car before he got his license. You'll have to guess why...but let's just say the people at the DMV knew us quite well.
But turning 18 didn't solve everything. On the first day of his Senior year of school, he drove to school for the very first time. He left one hour before school started, to beat the traffic. It was a very mature thing to do, trust me.
About five minutes after he left, he returned home.
What was wrong?
"I forgot my backpack."
Some things never change.
Although I suppose we should give him credit for wearing a shirt.
Visit our website at
http://www.goaskmom.com.
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